Tag Archives: children

Fade Into Darkness


When he asked I was scared, I knew I didn’t want anyone less in my life who wouldn’t go on to become my husband. But I had to try, I wouldn’t get a second chance, yet I didn’t want to either. I was so afraid. So I called someone for advice and he said that I had to try, that I’d never know until I did. I put my fear away and said yes. He was mine. I could officially call him mine. I was weary though, good things don’t happen to me so easily. The ecstasy of it overrode the negativity in my mind. I was so so happy, I had hope. He let me in to parts of his life, but he kept me out of the others. I didn’t want that, I wanted everything – the good, bad and the downright ugly. I hoped he’d come around, I had time I said to myself and time is what it’ll take. I didn’t push. I just sat there in my happy bubble. And happy was what I was. Happy arguing, happy smiling, happy laughing, happy living life. He made me feel safe. He pushed me to look beyond the pettiness, to grow to be the better person. I love him for the little things, because he wasn’t anything spectacularly large. He was an abundance of small victories rolled up together – every one of which he deserved, which he worked hard for. I believe in him and his greatness, his strive, his dreams. I could not have been blessed in my life with someone better than him. Then I lost him. I lost him to himself. I lost him to his need to protect me from himself than show me himself. I lost him before he even knew he was going. And I think that was the worst, knowing that someone is going before even they know – waiting quietly for them to realize they are already out the door. It broke my heart, yet I will always love him beyond myself, because he is worthy of it. He may not realize it, but I said I’d take this pain, this hurt, this heartache so that he wouldn’t have to, and I will – he is worth it. I just wasn’t lucky enough to have him for the time I had hoped. Luck was never on my side anyways. I miss him everyday; but in the days I had, I loved him like I was going to lose him. We could have been better than what we were, we were just two different people; cautious of different pain. He will always be the better part of me, I hope somewhere I’ll be the better part of him.

You’ll always be my favorite “what if”, but I’m sticking with “what is”. -Lang Leav

We lose people in our lives everyday. The age-old saying that time heals everything, is just words of comfort. Time doesn’t heal anything, the only thing that time does is blur the memories you are fighting to hold on to. Life goes on, you get up and force yourself to keep moving – that time and life wait for no one; soon enough it becomes habit. We are nothing but creatures of habit. But our minds, they don’t stay quiet, our minds are loud. They scream and wail, but our lips are quiet because we can’t change our loss, we can only bear them. We can only hope to silence our minds by distraction, that usually works on good days. No one really recovers from loss.

The only certainty in this life is death.


Yes death, not just physical death – but death of life, death of friendship, death of love, death of happiness, death of joy, death of dreams, death of spirituality, death of humanity. How does one look past that? How does one recover?



Abu Salmah related that Abu Hurayrah said, “The Prophet of Allah kissed Hasan ibn ‘Ali while Aqra’ ibn Habis was sitting nearby.  Aqra’ said, ‘I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.’ The Prophet looked at him and said, ‘Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.'”

Congrats on your much anticipated child 🙂 Enjoy motherhood…

First Class


I totally understand how people never want to change from Emirates to another airline unless they really have no choice. Emirates is first class. The service is first class. The uniforms are first class. The video selections are first class. Everything is first class.

Sometimes it’s just good to pay the extra for the comfort they provide and the oh so yummy chocolate mousse, arabic breakfast platter and the apple strudel. I watched Glee to my hearts content and used the very happy smelling hand lotion in the toilet. And for a person who has traveled in many airlines, OH-MY-GAWD, I totally love Emirates and whole-heartedly believe that they deserve every award that they have received over the years.

Take offs and landings are my worst nightmares among petty others, but they were so close to perfection that it was almost impossible to find the flaws.

Well apart from raving about that non-essential stuff, I just had to mention that I just had kids in 1 of the 2 flights I was on. And this one kid, in her brilliant pink sweater was just hilarious. She was in the row of seats behind us and kept coming over to our row and picking up everything from the seat and handing it over to her mother. Later, she’d stand on her seat and pull the headset of the boy sitting next to me, while his mother and me laughed at this extremely peculiar situation. I passed her my butter to keep her occupied, she chucked it back at me 15 mins later. Oh, she made my flight an enjoyable experience. Mind you, I’d say she was barely 2.

Another quite significant thing that happened was at the Dubai Airport. One of the more wonderful things about coming home or to any Muslim country is the sound of the Azaan and the availability of prayer rooms. Now, I’ve never taken the opportunity to use these public majilis before, but I’m proud I made that first step this time. A woman called me sister. I’ve never been called that before. It was a nice feeling.

And one more super amazing thing. This was the first ever time that the flight wasn’t overtaken with natives of the Indian subcontinent. It was a pleasure to travel with Europeans for a change. Not the Chinese though. I’ve had a wonderful in-flight experience. I’m slightly but not so jetlagged. I’m off to take in the cool *said in British accent* British air!