Category Archives: Words

Words say too many things..

2017 – Welcome

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Dear World,

2017 could not have come any sooner. 2016 ahhh, was not a year of firsts anymore. It was a year that I wanted over from the moment it started and now it’s gone. Thank the heavens for that!

2016 was a year that I traveled outside the UK into Europe and Africa for the first time ever. Those were exciting days. I soaked myself in those moments, but deep down, my heart was in a dark place. My heart remained in a dark place and dragged my head down with it. Every time I took a breath out a small part of my soul left with it. So last year, I had no power to stop myself, I just let myself grieve. And I must say that I’m so very very grateful for my friends, new and old – my family that keeps growing; for pulling me through. It was a year where I had to make a difficult career choice so that I could go on to achieve my 5 year goals.
It was also a year where some of the loveliest couples I knew got married, and I wish them a world of happiness through all the hardship they took to get there. I couldn’t be more excited for you!

I’m ready for this year. To get on with things head strong, to travel with my heart free, to look forward instead of looking back, to focusing on what is instead of what if. The year I can finally begin again, awaken my dead bones, and restart my heartbeat. I hope this year will be our saving grace where we get in touch with ourselves and regain our humanity. Let us not forget those who need us, stuck in situations beyond their control, in poverty and war-striken regions around the world. May we all hope to make a small difference in our lifetimes.

I shall leave you with that and some lovely words from Ms Leav.

With love, always,
K

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Night Traveler

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I see snow covered mountain peaks
peeping over peppering clouds,
the rugged land below
enjoying the perils of sunlight.

I see the sea weaving
along the shoreline, silently
and clusters of white
forming villages, towns, cities, capitals.

I see the harnessing of wind
to create energy for the masses,
life being lived gloriously
from the wings that carry me home.

Alas, I brave the journey
in the light of day!

Dangerously

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Fresh mountain air.
Tainted desert sands.

Dreams.
Eyes that hide secrets.
A smile that ignites fire.

Words so constant.
Actions of the subtlest nature.
I-miss-you never aloud.

You waited.
I waited.

Lace against body.
Sweet chemical combustion.
Triggers perspiration.

Heart in shards.
Thousand glittering pieces.

Ghosts of my mind.
Haunting breaths.
Passion slow to diffuse.

Take me back.
Be my lover and my demon.
Don’t leave me like this.

Holding my breath.
Waiting.

And It All Falls Down

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I hope the memoirs in your box have gotten rusty,
while the memories in my mind remain vibrant;
filled with hello goodbyes, joy and eternal highs.

As the time has now come to an end,
we have gone from strangers to friends and back, a complete circle of life;
once doused in color, all burnt out.

The air has gotten thicker and the oxygen concentration
has dropped since you walked away;
making it harder to breathe, but it won’t conquer me.

It’s not that I ever wanted to live without you,
I just had no say in it;
please remain safe junkie, may the world always be your oyster.

The distance grows yet the world gets smaller,
and while the jagged dagger causes chaos in my heart;
I wish you peace in yours and the infinite silence of demons.

May you forever live buried in the depths of my being,
as the light in your eyes, your quirky smile and fierce heart;
resonates through me.

To us, to yesterday, to never after.

And it’s 2016…

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Dear loved ones,

It’s the dawn of a new year. And as every new year starts I’d like to reflect on the past year just a little bit.

2015 was overall a great year! It started off with friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and having them around gave my heart so much peace. It was the year where I started my first job and got my first salary. It was a year of many firsts in that aspect. I gave my first qurban, I lost my first baby (at work, not my own), I traveled with my own money, I sorted out my taxes, I used my amazon account, etc etc. Small but big victories none-the-less.

It was a year where friendships were strengthened. Where those who were there for me shined through my darkest days. It was a year where I got way too many birthday gifts. I’m not complaining. And I’ve now got a wall of cards.

A year of travel which will hopefully pass onto the new year. Big whoop for all of you who hosted me and who I hosted. Hope to see you again ūüėÄ

2015 was also a year I lost someone close to me. And being honest, it still very much feels like a huge hole in my life. It’s an ache that refuses to go away or be ignored. It has also been a year where I’ve appreciated my mother a lot for her support.

But it was a year of beautiful beautiful memories and daily inspiration in random places – so I say thank you to everyone for being with me this year. For the love, the friendship, the closeness, the wisdom and very much for believing in me when I lost sight of myself.

And I’ll leave you with these words I found this morning

Real love is neither kind nor gentle, and does not award itself to the cowardly or the meek. Love is beholden only to the brave and the bold. Those who are prepared to break bone and bleed for it, to go on fighting without reason or hope.

~Beau Taplin

Love, always
K

I Wish

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The air is filled with all my neurosis
at losing the people most precious.
These demons just¬†won’t let it rest,
whispering to the right, again on the left.
The dates have changed with time
since way back in twenty-oh-nine.
But how can I forget as time flies by?
It’s another year¬†without them alive.
The people who made me feel so much life,
like strangers fading away without a fight.
I can’t keep losing them like this,
let me not be attached – I wish.
Having said that,
can I please have them all back?