He had always been mine and I his.
For years we kept up this façade
of hiding behind ‘NO’
but in our hearts laid great
tenderness for the other.
Until the secrets weighed too heavily;
the masks dropped
and fragile hearts shattered.
I know my family used to get on my nerves all the time, well they still do. I used to wonder why God would put in a home like this, and why I was the only one who understood what I was going through. But now, I understand. I’m just like my family, it is where I belong. Doesn’t mean I love being at home all the time, but different families have different bonds. Mine isn’t actually strength with unity.
And as I’ve grown, and seen the world, I’ve come to appreciate my family a lot, with all our craziness and drama, because no family goes without its package of this. Even though I have much to be grateful for, I’m grateful for the weird togetherness that we share. Far in distance, but never in heart. I love that we are together, although we are scattered all over the globe, and we have that security of forever in this world that’s falling apart.
We see the splitting of families happening on TV, and we think that this only happens in the Western world, but take a look around you, and you will see that it’s happening right in front of you too. The way this affects a family, is not something that I would wish upon any child, no matter how old or mature. In our point of view, it’s always better to be unhappy together rather than happy apart. Selfish, but true.
Though fighting is something that we have all witnessed at one time of our life, and we tend to worry that it is going to turn worse, it usually doesn’t, all it does at the most is bring us closer. But the times that it does get bad, it’s much more tolerable than not seeing one of your parents everyday for the rest of your life, choosing sides when you don’t want to, and splitting holidays. I wouldn’t like it much, or at all.
Some of us however, make peace with this, especially if our parents are visibly happier and tolerant of the other. This takes a long time to achieve; however, it’s definitely worth the wait. It’s harder to part with a parent, to see them with strangers, but it’s important to realize that they too deserve happiness in their lives apart from their children, and that they will still love us no matter what, but we should continue the effort to be close to both of them.
More often than not, in our side of the world it’s common to find families with only one parent, not due to divorce but because one of them has passed on. This too has an effect on families, and sometimes it’s easy to tell when someone around you comes from a home with only one parent. In this case, the passed parent, if lost at a young age of the child, will be idolized tremendously by the child and the child will lose that side of the upbringing.
But remember that if your remaining parent finds another person to love, that your parent is not trying to replace the parent that you have lost. They need the companionship, they need the support, and they need help. Raising us isn’t easy and it’s a two-person job. A big hand to those parents who do it single-handedly, it must not be easy. We all need role models in which to follow your lives. Usually, we do end up like our parents.
Occasionally, we find the odd parent who decides though they are part of a family, they refuse to contribute to it, and sadly, this too affects us to no end. It brings extra burden, and the terrible sense of not belonging. We further tend to not belong as we grow or overachieve to gain some sort of emotion from the parent who has decided to ignore us. We have to start pulling ourselves together, and supporting ourselves from a young age, something we shouldn’t do till older.
What I’m trying to say is, we all have our family secrets and family dramas. This is part and parcel of being a family, protecting and guiding. So don’t give your parents a hard time, they are trying to do the best they can do with what they have. No family is perfect, and no family is textbook. Things come and go, and we must just deal with them. Soon you’ll find that no matter whom you become and how far away from your family you want to run, you can’t.
Home is where the heart is. The oldest adage in the book. It’s true. Doesn’t matter how broken or damaged our homes are, that is where our roots are, and only from those roots can we fly with independent and confident. These roots will always keep us firm in the ground, even in the largest distance that we fly. Never be ashamed from where you come. Home and family is what makes us who we are, good or bad. It is in our blood.
Find that special thing that makes your home special. There always is something. Communicate with each other, and soon you too will realize that you are your parent’s child, and it is where you do belong. And as much as you want to get away from it, when you do, you will always have that tiny bit of longing to go back, no denying it.
Mountains of faith. Pillars of strength. Stars of trust. Hands of silver. Hearts of gold. They are written in the pages of your history. They teach us many important things, of which the greatest significance goes to teaching us to be inter-dependant. That is one of life’s biggest lessons. Rather than being independent, it is fortunate for one to be the latter.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. – Friendship Rests In Every Need, Dream, and Soul.
It is a mystery, as to why we have the kind of friends we do. But if they are true to us as we are true to them, they pave the road of glory for us, and like wise. We have shared our lives with them, entwined like a spider’s web. Each sliver of silk, a memory of a good time or bad; a moment of immense laughter or that of intense silence. Memories are all that I have of the good times that we all shared.
We have prayed for the safety of the others. Wished them a better day, a better night, a better life. We have fought for each other and with each other. Go-betweens caught in the cross-fire, quite unhappy at the sidelines. You call me strong, you call me weak, but still your secrets I shall keep. Shopping sprees, icy mocha lattes, expensive cars and long bus rides; we have memories. The pranks we have played, the tears we have cried, the encouragement we have shared and the advice we have passed on.
The same thing that blew us together might blow us apart. So keep a piece of me precious and close to your heart. Don’t forget us when new and interesting friends come into your life. Don’t forget us when the love of your life walked through that once closed door. Don’t forget us when you are far away in an exotic place. Don’t forget us when your heart is broken, and you are thinking of the past. Don’t forget us when you dreaming of a glamorous future. Don’t forget us, because we haven’t forgotten you.
Now, all my girls, stand in a circle. This is for you.
For all the times we’ve spent sharing parts of our lives which you have missed out on. The help you given to handle a particularly difficult project, be it an encouraging phone call or staying up all night to end up with dried glue on your fingers. Thank you for being there to mend a broken heart, for the sympathy, for the fashion tips and all the phone calls to know you care. The lessons on cooking, family crises, and patience have not gone unheeded.
–Take care of your girl friends. Don’t break their hearts. Love them for being their sensitive selves. Shower them with gifts. Have faith in them, that’s all they really want from you. They are strong on the inside and are super hot females; help them bring all that out. Boys, don’t treat them any less as you would your girlfriend. They are your emotional guardians.
Now gentlemen, line up. It’s your turn.
You are all larger than life. For trying to solve our problems, and being there in the flash of lightning when an emergency crops up. Thank you for the tips on cars, electronics, and other randoms. All those trips around, well-organized at first ignoring the unexpected, ending up with a case of hysterics among the crew with someone always lost. The least expected memorabilia are on display for all to see. The silent times you’ve spent for us are valued beyond measure.
–They are hard wired tough; but we all fall sometimes, so be there to catch the other. They might not know how to fix a broken heart, but they as sure as apple pie can fix a broken car, or even help a lost mind. They are original – love them for that. Believe in them and watch them rise to great heights. They are your brothers. I’m a hold you down no matter the situation, the whole wild world can’t take us.
So here’s my promise made tonight: You can count on me for life. Through all the fights and all the hugs; through all the broken pieces and lost moments; through all the sleepovers and smiles; through time and space, we will be there for each other, because that’s what friends are for. They are for life, for death, for ever.
Forever has now begun.
‘Tis the season of giving. So get out there and dish out large amounts of loving to all those who are a part of who you have become. They are anything but ordinary.