Cross the line
Place your love like a band around
Have me your way
my way and every other which way.
I’ve already risked this friendship
for love, lust and desire;
Leaving me weak in the knees,
with a crazy bad habit that
wants to stay.
They tell me he is educated,
that he comes from a good family.
He is religious and settled,
that he can give me what I need.
He isn’t attractive
nor does he have any dreams.
His empty shell will never take me
to paradise, that’s what I tell them.
That is how we fit best,
atone for the shortcomings of the other.
The continued strength at the
an unconventional strategy when
options ran out,
the back-and-forth banter of
That is how I’d like to see us
‘shining brightly alone;
a supernova together’
but you… you didn’t think so.
If he would have kissed the valley
between the mounds,
he could have witnessed the plateau
transform into mountain peaks.
And if he was thirsty,
I would have let him drink from my
fountain of youth till
he drowned in the tsunami within.
Instead he preferred to
build sandcastles during the storm.
They ask me
“Why are you still not married?”
“What exactly are you looking for?”
My answer is simple
Take care of him.”
That’s what she said.
“How do you do that for a man who
wants someone else?”
I stepped back. That’s what I did.
There she lay
beside me in sweet slumber,
a smirk on her face.
A curious early morning sight,
yet I rolled away to face the ceiling.
She, was stuck with me.
I wondered, would it be different
if he lay next to me,
would he be pulling me in closer?
Ouch! She just smacked me
out of my daydream.
I, was stuck with her.
Here I am,
having the time of my life
yet coming back to an empty house
thinking I’d much rather
be with you!
There you are,
walking away with
your bags packed and mind made up
so I guess I’m getting used to
home being this way!
In a world that is intent on breaking,
it’s the first time I’ve learnt
to let go.
This is us.
This is love.
This is where I sleep,
alone in peaceful reverie.
With you darling, seas apart,
tormented by the road
You taught me to never
judge a book by its cover,
so I let him recite eloquent verses
that took me to a different time.
That was the thing I loved
most about him,
that he read in a language which
wasn’t completely mine.
Unfailingly, sometime in the course of your education you have been asked who your role model was, am I right? I know I have, way back in the 4th grade. Who even knows what a role model is at the age of 10? Since I most definitively didn’t, I researched fitting role models. Let me tell you, back then female role models were limited – and between Mother Teresa and Princess Diana, no offence to Mother Teresa at all – but I had the makings of a Princess Diana shrine. She got the Prince, the heirs to the longest ruling monarchy in the world, a fantabulous dress and got to travel to all parts of the earth to do great things. I was awed.
Until I handed in my assignment, and everyone else had written about their mothers, teachers, sisters, or some other family member that I should have written about my mother or my grandmother too. They have surely come so far for women of their generations, and it’s definitely because of them that I have come as far as I have. But let me explain, I love my mother. I’m not an ungrateful daughter. I appreciate all of her stubbornness and word of law in my upbringing. I’m thankful for her constantly pushing me and her sacrifices. I’d like to tell her that she knows me so well, I’d like to fool myself into thinking that she could pass a test of my life – but she won’t, and till this day she thinks I have been a fool on several occasions. While she might think so, I’ve always been totally aware of the situation. We don’t have that best friend relationship. As much as I look up to her, she could not be my role model.
The dictionary states that a role model is
He is not perfect, like every human he has his flaws. Never-the-less, he is inspiring at the most. He is my role model because he inspires me, and he hasn’t failed to continue inspiring me in the past decade or so which is a really difficult feat because I’m so fickle. He inspires me because he fights for his dreams – he doesn’t give up when things get hard and he knows when to move on when there is nothing left to gain. He inspires me in his friendship – he doesn’t give the time of day to negative people, but will bend backwards for those who have been through thick and thin with him. He inspires me through his faith – for his incessant journey to know more, to have greater iman, to be closer to Allah. He inspires me with his character – loyal, harsh, yet kind. He inspires me in the ways he helps people, knowingly or not. He inspires me in how he knows when to be serious and when not. He inspires me through how far he has come as a person through change and self-improvement. He inspires me to never settle for less than I am. He inspires me to keep fighting when I’m ready to give up. He inspires me to keep turning to Allah when I’m stuck because no one else can really do anything to help me. He inspires me to be kind even if it’s the smallest thing. He inspires me to be resilient and tough, yet gentle. He inspires me to think about the bigger picture and not focus too much on the insignificant little things. He inspires me to stay true to myself and what I believe in even if I’m going against the wave. He inspires me to be honest, loyal and confident. He inspires me to set my bar high and work hard enough to catch those dreams in the palms of my hand. He inspires me to always test before trusting. He inspires me by always being a phone call away no matter the distance in miles.
That is what a role model is – someone who greatly inspires you to be exactly who you want to be. This world has become so career orientated, that most of our role models have something to do with what career path we choose, or some this-or-that celebrity that has gone through some this-or-that adversity. I don’t think I have a role model in my field. In fact I have no clue about celebrities and awards and nobel peace prizes and innovation awards. I don’t need it. I don’t need a role model for my career. But I need a role model for my life.
You don’t have to be famous to leave a mark on the world. Sometimes all you need to be is – inspiring. And for that, I’d take him over Princess Diana any day. Right here, next to me.
She gets it.
She bloody gets it.
I don’t ever have to explain my
inclination or inspiration,
we are two peas of the same swoon pod.
I see pots of gold
at the end of hospital rainbows,
and so does she.
She gets it.
She bloody well does.
Why I wrote this:
She’s going to me a trauma surgeon. I’m going to be a pediatric interventional radiologist. Very different personalities, fighting for the same dream and crushing badly on the consultants that inspire us.
For the longest part of my teenage years I’ve been running. Well not literally. I’ve been running away from my family, from myself, from my life. I was fighting for the freedom I wanted so desperately. For the right to grow as an individual of my own accord. But what I didn’t see in my renegade, was that I was growing. Exactly how I wanted.
Now I see myself as a woman I’m proud of. Someone who is fiercely independent in her own right, not afraid to stand up for what she believes in but someone who still needs to reach out for support once in a while. A person who has changed over the years, though it may not be a complete makeover, but one who has improved. I feel it, even if you can’t see it.
Back then, I realize, I wasn’t ready to live my life. I’m slowly getting my freedom, and for that I’m happy. You see, I wanted the freedom to go out when ever I wanted, no rules, no restrictions. I wanted to be with friends all the time. I just wanted to escape when the going got tough, but escaping never made life better. Facing it did.
Now I’m satisfied being at home, being alone. I know I don’t need to be with people all the time. I cherish my freedom to solitude. It is my biggest inspiration. Not that I’m a loner or anything, I do have a treasured set of friends who are my biggest fans, and of whom I’m big fans. They warm my heart and touch my soul. I’m glad to be their friend.
My parents have always encouraged me to have an open mind. To think for myself, not to base judgement on the opinions of others. For that I’m deeply grateful. However, one of my greatest discoveries of life is this. Remember that glass that alot of people love to talk about, the half full/half empty one. It’s neither. It’s always full.
Let me explain. The glass has either water or air in it, but no one seems to take it that it may also have both. When you have a ‘half full/half empty’ glass, it just has equal parts of both air and water in it. Some just see the air, and some see the water, but do you ever see both?
There is no such thing as a pessimist, nor is there anything as an optimist. There are those who want more, and there are those who are just content with what they have. It’s not bad to be either. But it depends on what one is going to do about it. Are you going to go and fill the rest of the glass, or are you going to settle and be content?
We, as a human race, do have choices. Sometimes we can’t see the choices, or sometimes that choice is just not feasible. We may not always like it, but we always have one. I know I’ve not always made the best choices in my life, however I don’t regret my past. There have been times where I haven’t learnt from my past, but those odds are reducing.
I love the sun, because I know there is a child somewhere who is so cold, that he might pass on due to hypothermia. And I love the rain, because it always brings a promise of a rainbow, at the end of which one might find a pot of gold. I love smiles, because they are infectious; and I love a frown, because it proves life is not perfect.
I am content with my life, yet I want more. Not more wealth, nor more happiness. I want more. More memories. Happy and sad, joyous and painful. I want to lead a full life. And everytime I reach a milestone in my life, I want to be able to say, ” Yes, If I died tomorrow, I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do. I’m content.”
I am fortunate. Not because I have clothes to wear, or food eat. Nor is it because I can afford to have simple luxuries. It is because I have a life. The rich are not always happy, nor are the poor always sad. True, there are starving, sick people in various parts of the world and we may think them less fortunate. How wrong.
There are poor who are content with their lives, and there are those who hope for more, and ofcourse there are those who have lost hope. There are the rich who are content, there are those who strive for more for charitable reasons, and those who strive more for personal gain. Who of these six do you think deserve sympathy? Well that’s for you to decide.
“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?” -G.K. Chesterton
So what are you going to do about your life? Are you going to sit back and be content with what life is going to deal you or are you going to take charge and make the most of what you want out of it? Are you going to fill the glass or drain it? Are you going to dream? Hope? Pray? Live? I hope you do.
See the beauty that life gives you. Don’t forget to also see the sadness life deals out. Spread the love. Share the darkness. No regrets. No guilt. Fly. Die and be reborn. Be a better person. Grow. Hold anothers hand. Go towards the light. Believe. Reach for a star. Bring peace and serenity. Give and take.
Don’t be the person who didnt tell a loved one often enough that they were loved. Don’t be the one who left a dear friend to stand in the rain, cold and starving. Don’t be the man who passed the ragged beggar without compassion. Don’t be the individual who didn’t share hugs with a child. Give life exactly what you want life to give back to you.
Be thankful. I am. If you have nothing to be thankful, it’s a sign that you are not giving life a chance to prove itself. So give it a chance. Don’t be so harsh. Look around. Go and create your smile, and you’ll see that if you smile at life, it will shower smiles back at you. Life is life. It is everything you make of it.
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” -Meister Eckhart
[For all those who give thanks]