Tag Archives: hurt

And It All Falls Down

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I hope the memoirs in your box have gotten rusty,
while the memories in my mind remain vibrant;
filled with hello goodbyes, joy and eternal highs.

As the time has now come to an end,
we have gone from strangers to friends and back, a complete circle of life;
once doused in color, all burnt out.

The air has gotten thicker and the oxygen concentration
has dropped since you walked away;
making it harder to breathe, but it won’t conquer me.

It’s not that I ever wanted to live without you,
I just had no say in it;
please remain safe junkie, may the world always be your oyster.

The distance grows yet the world gets smaller,
and while the jagged dagger causes chaos in my heart;
I wish you peace in yours and the infinite silence of demons.

May you forever live buried in the depths of my being,
as the light in your eyes, your quirky smile and fierce heart;
resonates through me.

To us, to yesterday, to never after.

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Lessons

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I hate her for walking away
leaving you with a broken heart.
I hate you for walking away
without giving me a chance to heal it.

Love you haven’t learnt-
the one who broke and scarred your heart,
will never be the same one that brings it back to life.

I hate her for the role
she played in your festering wounds.
I hate you for being stuck
in those memories and tormenting yourself.

Love you haven’t learnt-
that you shouldn’t have brought her along when you came for me,
I didn’t deserve half of you.

I hate her for being
that great love of your life.
But I will always love you
for being mine.

Love you haven’t learnt-
that I could see everything and despite your demons,
I had enough love to illuminate the darkest corners of your soul.

I learnt though,
that your heart never had the strength to hold it all.

Without You

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You can test the waters of the ocean,
learn to swim against the currents,
but that will never prepare you
for a tsunami,
despite the weather warnings.

It dragged everything I knew
in one swift movement,
left me drowning
for I no longer had an anchor
to keep me safe on the shore.

All the things I was with you,
I now have to struggle to be
without you,
I don’t know if I’ll ever
be ready for that.

Ghosts

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There was never any hesitation in the choices I made for you
in the depth of my mind
in the chambers of my heart
in the corners of my soul.
Yet I’m terrified, the butterflies are overshadowed by the fear of
being hurt by your words
being stranded by your actions
being unloved by your defiant heart.
In the reality of ghosts that haunt your past, present and future,
my eyes shall sparkle in your presence
my lips shall continue the silence
my hands shall continue to honor your memory.

Why I wrote this:
Some of the greatest love stories were not because they loved out loud.

Electric Fences

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I’m running,
running hard,
my lungs are out of breath,
but I can’t stop, won’t stop.

This place looks familiar,
but I can’t be sure,
the electric fence stretches on,
have I circled back to the start?

This fence has no holes,
I’ve been burnt a few times,
but I won’t give up,
I will be with you on the other side.

I miss you,
so damn much,
come back for me,
don’t leave me here, cold.

This wild grass keeps growing,
though the sun stopped rising,
the stars have disappeared,
but the electric fence won’t give way.

You are still with me,
always and forever,
I won’t let you go,
but will you, have you?