Tag Archives: choices

Ghosts

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There was never any hesitation in the choices I made for you
in the depth of my mind
in the chambers of my heart
in the corners of my soul.
Yet I’m terrified, the butterflies are overshadowed by the fear of
being hurt by your words
being stranded by your actions
being unloved by your defiant heart.
In the reality of ghosts that haunt your past, present and future,
my eyes shall sparkle in your presence
my lips shall continue the silence
my hands shall continue to honor your memory.

Why I wrote this:
Some of the greatest love stories were not because they loved out loud.

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It Ends Tonight.

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For the longest part of my teenage years I’ve been running. Well not literally. I’ve been running away from my family, from myself, from my life. I was fighting for the freedom I wanted so desperately. For the right to grow as an individual of my own accord. But what I didn’t see in my renegade, was that I was growing. Exactly how I wanted.

Now I see myself as a woman I’m proud of. Someone who is fiercely independent in her own right, not afraid to stand up for what she believes in but someone who still needs to reach out for support once in a while. A person who has changed over the years, though it may not be a complete makeover, but one who has improved. I feel it, even if you can’t see it.

Back then, I realize, I wasn’t ready to live my life. I’m slowly getting my freedom, and for that I’m happy. You see, I wanted the freedom to go out when ever I wanted, no rules, no restrictions. I wanted to be with friends all the time. I just wanted to escape when the going got tough, but escaping never made life better. Facing it did.

Now I’m satisfied being at home, being alone. I know I don’t need to be with people all the time. I cherish my freedom to solitude. It is my biggest inspiration. Not that I’m a loner or anything, I do have a treasured set of friends who are my biggest fans, and of whom I’m big fans. They warm my heart and touch my soul. I’m glad to be their friend.

My parents have always encouraged me to have an open mind. To think for myself, not to base judgement on the opinions of others. For that I’m deeply grateful. However, one of my greatest discoveries of life is this. Remember that glass that alot of people love to talk about, the half full/half empty one. It’s neither. It’s always full.

Let me explain. The glass has either water or air in it, but no one seems to take it that it may also have both. When you have a ‘half full/half empty’ glass, it just has equal parts of both air and water in it. Some just see the air, and some see the water, but do you ever see both?

There is no such thing as a pessimist, nor is there anything as an optimist. There are those who want more, and there are those who are just content with what they have. It’s not bad to be either. But it depends on what one is going to do about it. Are you going to go and fill the rest of the glass, or are you going to settle and be content?

We, as a human race, do have choices. Sometimes we can’t see the choices, or sometimes that choice is just not feasible. We may not always like it, but we always have one. I know I’ve not always made the best choices in my life, however I don’t regret my past. There have been times where I haven’t learnt from my past, but those odds are reducing.

I love the sun, because I know there is a child somewhere who is so cold, that he might pass on due to hypothermia. And I love the rain, because it always brings a promise of a rainbow, at the end of which one might find a pot of gold. I love smiles, because they are infectious; and I love a frown, because it proves life is not perfect.

I am content with my life, yet I want more. Not more wealth, nor more happiness. I want more. More memories. Happy and sad, joyous and painful. I want to lead a full life. And everytime I reach a milestone in my life, I want to be able to say, ” Yes, If I died tomorrow, I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do. I’m content.”

I am fortunate. Not because I have clothes to wear, or food eat. Nor is it because I can afford to have simple luxuries. It is because I have a life. The rich are not always happy, nor are the poor always sad. True, there are starving, sick people in various parts of the world and we may think them less fortunate. How wrong.

There are poor who are content with their lives, and there are those who hope for more, and ofcourse there are those who have lost hope. There are the rich who are content, there are those who strive for more for charitable reasons, and those who strive more for personal gain. Who of these six do you think deserve sympathy? Well that’s for you to decide.

“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?” -G.K. Chesterton

So what are you going to do about your life? Are you going to sit back and be content with what life is going to deal you or are you going to take charge and make the most of what you want out of it? Are you going to fill the glass or drain it? Are you going to dream? Hope? Pray? Live? I hope you do.

See the beauty that life gives you. Don’t forget to also see the sadness life deals out. Spread the love. Share the darkness. No regrets. No guilt. Fly. Die and be reborn. Be a better person. Grow. Hold anothers hand. Go towards the light. Believe. Reach for a star. Bring peace and serenity. Give and take.

Don’t be the person who didnt tell a loved one often enough that they were loved. Don’t be the one who left a dear friend to stand in the rain, cold and starving. Don’t be the man who passed the ragged beggar without compassion. Don’t be the individual who didn’t share hugs with a child. Give life exactly what you want life to give back to you.

Be thankful. I am. If you have nothing to be thankful, it’s a sign that you are not giving life a chance to prove itself. So give it a chance. Don’t be so harsh. Look around. Go and create your smile, and you’ll see that if you smile at life, it will shower smiles back at you. Life is life. It is everything you make of it.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” -Meister Eckhart

[For all those who give thanks]