And it’s 2016…

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Dear loved ones,

It’s the dawn of a new year. And as every new year starts I’d like to reflect on the past year just a little bit.

2015 was overall a great year! It started off with friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and having them around gave my heart so much peace. It was the year where I started my first job and got my first salary. It was a year of many firsts in that aspect. I gave my first qurban, I lost my first baby (at work, not my own), I traveled with my own money, I sorted out my taxes, I used my amazon account, etc etc. Small but big victories none-the-less.

It was a year where friendships were strengthened. Where those who were there for me shined through my darkest days. It was a year where I got way too many birthday gifts. I’m not complaining. And I’ve now got a wall of cards.

A year of travel which will hopefully pass onto the new year. Big whoop for all of you who hosted me and who I hosted. Hope to see you again ūüėÄ

2015 was also a year I lost someone close to me. And being honest, it still very much feels like a huge hole in my life. It’s an ache that refuses to go away or be ignored. It has also been a year where I’ve appreciated my mother a lot for her support.

But it was a year of beautiful beautiful memories and daily inspiration in random places – so I say thank you to everyone for being with me this year. For the love, the friendship, the closeness, the wisdom and very much for believing in me when I lost sight of myself.

And I’ll leave you with these words I found this morning

Real love is neither kind nor gentle, and does not award itself to the cowardly or the meek. Love is beholden only to the brave and the bold. Those who are prepared to break bone and bleed for it, to go on fighting without reason or hope.

~Beau Taplin

Love, always
K

#MyDecember

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It’s that time of year
#winter #confidence #freedom #memories #happydays #coldnosewarmheart

 

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Look what I found
#cleaningoutmywallet #onepoundandfiftypence #nothatsnotright #missingnationalday #wheresmydirhamsat

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‘Tis the season of giving
#giftsforeveryone #signedsealeddelivered #whowantsone #onetimeofferonly

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We got lights up
#fairylights #rainynights

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Saturday’s big breakfast
#thebreakfastclub #vegetarian #smokedsalmon #pancakesalldayeveryday #yesplease

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It’s the circle of life
#thelionking #ifinallymadeit #hakunamatata #reddressredlips

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What is a birthday without pizza?
#Goodfellas #chocolatebrowniepizza #thatswherethemoneyis #giveittomebaby #whitechocolatedarkchocolate

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Just like we celebrate births, we acknowledge the departed Рmay she be with those she loves #gonesixyears #makedua #misshereveryday #doingthingsherway #inspiration

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Hello Mr. Snowman
#imreadyforyou #nomnom #chocolatetoeatchocolatetodrink

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Sparkling away
#christmasball #foodfoodfood #dancing#funtimes #ladieswithclassandsass

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All in a weeks work
#gifts #spectrumoflife #colormehappy #wheremychocolatesat

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All wrapped up
#christmasforeveryone #jobwelldone #sobroke #holidaycheer

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Nothing like a hot mug of love
#winterwarmer #coffeelover #nescafe #limitededition #winterfavorites

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We’ve got jungle laces
#junglelaces #givemesomeheight #livingincolors #HODshocktime

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The million dollar prize
#raffleatwork #ohdearmeitsfrozen #whyohwhy #annaoverelsa #lettingitgo

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Let’s always pray for those we lost
#rememberance #littleones #everywhere #everyday #hellonearth

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Better late than never
#finallycame #fruitcakeandtea #yesplease #meandB #lovefrom @misskayes

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Holidaying in London
#somersethouse #iceskatingrink #ohchristmastree #lightscoloraction #siblingtime

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Feeling the love
#thegoodlife #mybro #mybae #heartfeeleasyandhappy #keepthemcoming #imjustkidding

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Star Wars and he
#siblingtime #homemade #berrytart #teamskywalker #teaglorioustea

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December is not a time to let hopes go
#iwrotethisforyou #nevergiveup #lovealways

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Togetherness
#arroganceofloneliness #iwrotethisforyou #holdinghands #winternights

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Where it all started
#timeswithbaggage #hbd #lovealways #lolascupcakes #whereisourforever #tiramisu #yourfavorite

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Getting on Santa’s good books
#alwaysnicenevernaughty #cookiesandmilk #santabetterlikechocolate

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Cake bombs
#merrychristmas #thecakenest #sopretty #hollyeverywhere

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500s for the win
#onepuzzleaday #only500pieces #anightswork #london #venice #austria #italy #pushingmybuttons

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Actually happy
#loveactually #happymummy #hbdmom #matherdarling #yesteryear

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Hands up to The Nutcracker
#stdavidshall #therussianballet #winterwonders

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Pigging on mums candy stash
 #lastfewdays #keptsomeformyself #qualitystreet #mygreenbar #slightyracial

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Looks like nothing much has changed over the decades
#milkfedmen #ticklemepink #thecolorpurple #linesfromabook #agreetodisagree

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The things you find at
#primark #mydecember #peptalkfrommum #newyearseve #goodbye2015 #whereswaldo #goodman

I Wish

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The air is filled with all my neurosis
at losing the people most precious.
These demons just¬†won’t let it rest,
whispering to the right, again on the left.
The dates have changed with time
since way back in twenty-oh-nine.
But how can I forget as time flies by?
It’s another year¬†without them alive.
The people who made me feel so much life,
like strangers fading away without a fight.
I can’t keep losing them like this,
let me not be attached – I wish.
Having said that,
can I please have them all back?

My December

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Now that you’re gone
my soul has lost its youthfulness
and my heart is tired.
But my eyes that search anxiously
for yours,
have come to find you in my dreams.
Now the love that they exude can
be set free;
while I sleep in tormented reverie.
Because the December that was
meant to be ours,
wasn’t really meant to be.

November 2015

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I have to start with this because it really is the most amazing thing. There’s a website where u type in the emotion your currently feeling and it gives you a Surah/Ayat that correlates with it and I think that’s just beautiful. www.Sujood.co

wp-1450044736021.jpegDidn’t really travel anywhere. Made a small trip to Birmingham for a radiology conference, which is something my heart always needs. Definitely loved their Christmas market. It was proper German and I had my jalapeno poppers – worth getting excited over. I also met a friend after almost 10 years. Awh! It was good catching up about college over cake and then rushing off. Handmade chocolate and homemade cake, hot chocolate and garlic bread, german cookies and stollen.wp-1450044762165.jpeg

I just want to put it out there and say thanks to everyone who didn’t discriminate the Muslims after the Paris attack. I personally appreciate it. It’s sad the number of innocent lives lost in the name of misdirected and ignorant Jihad.

My brother did some charity work – I think it’s because he was too lazy to shave, but I’ll take it. I’m proud of him! ūüėÄ
My cousin suggested a song for my #WeekendJam. I literally lolled – I didn’t know they were catching on. Made my day.

wp-1450044800277.jpegI didn’t do any baking. November was a quiet month. But I do want to leave you with one of the most beautiful sunrises I’ve seen for a while.

Lessons

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I hate her for walking away
leaving you with a broken heart.
I hate you for walking away
without giving me a chance to heal it.

Love you haven’t learnt-
the one who broke and scarred your heart,
will never be the same one that brings it back to life.

I hate her for the role
she played in your festering wounds.
I hate you for being stuck
in those memories and tormenting yourself.

Love you haven’t learnt-
that you shouldn’t have brought her along when you came for me,
I didn’t deserve half of you.

I hate her for being
that great love of your life.
But I will always love you
for being mine.

Love you haven’t learnt-
that I could see everything and despite your demons,
I had enough love to illuminate the darkest corners of your soul.

I learnt though,
that your heart never had the strength to hold it all.