Lot of things being said about love these days, but here’s an interesting word to bring back into the coversation – “trust”.
I’ve got a lot of questions about this word.
Can anyone really be trusted? Can you trust your own self? How do learn to trust someone? Can you base your trust on actions if words are contradictory? Is trust important? Does trust equal loyalty? What happens if someone you trust doesn’t trust you? Is trust easily broken? Does time change trust? And here’s the biggest question of all: if the trust is gone, will it ever come back?
Most are easily answered, I presume.
Trust is natural to some, and foreign to others. I keep my distance from people. I don’t let them in easily. Some embrace their vunerabilities, I’m not one of them. Vunerabilities are a weakness in this world. Everyone is waiting for you to show your flawed cracks; not to bandage them, but to make them deeper and irrepairable. Of course I know I’m being cynical and not everyone is like that.
My weaknesses are hung to dry with the people I trust.
For those who I know will always be there.
For those who I know can handle it.
For those who I know will be supportive with their constructive criticism.
For those who believe in me.
For those who don’t judge outwardly or silently.
For those whose dreams for me are the dreams for myself.
For those who see beyond my imperfections and flaws.
For those who will carry me when I’ve fallen.
For those who know me in my silence.
For them are my vunerabilities.
My true strength, my whole self, my trust.
But even then, even then – trust can be broken. It can get lost. When you longer trust them with your words or actions. When you change, or they change. And then you get lost. You can’t decide whether to hold on to a past filled with trust with the hope it will be rebuilt, or to let go of a present drowning in distrust because somethings can never go back to the way they were. Do you throw it away or do you fight for it? Is it worth it? Will it ever come back?