Losing Your Pieces

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Some times in life you need to start afresh. You need to close that chapter in your life and never look back – just forward. And the rush of emotions that come along with it is mind boggling; the good and bad, the happy and sad.

So, it looks like I’ll be living alone again. That’s not the part that bothers me so much, but I really hate living close to the people I have to see every day in class. There’s a total lack of privacy, politics everywhere, and no personal space. Isolation seems like a better choice, if one can afford it.

But I’m going to make the most of it. I have another 2 years to go, and then I’m done. I’m out! I’ve had some good times, made some great friends, lost some too and made a real person out of myself, I think.

However, it’s sad times when friends that used to be so close, drift apart or can’t compromise over small, insignificant things. As much as I try to let go, a part of me still wants to be friends, even after the anger and the annoyance.

So, how do friends drift apart? Can we ever get them back? Maybe those lines about friends coming and going, leaving footprints in our lives is all friends are for. When we grow and change, become different people, the people close to us might have to change with us. After all, friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

How about ex’s? Is all the love really gone once we are over? And is friendship out of the question?

As much as I would like to say that I hate all my ex’s, that would be a lie. Not that I love all of them, a few are still amazing friends of mine. Well one is. Not to give you any ideas, but I really think it’s about the level of maturity and honesty that both have and the total lack of those feelings.

Yet, it’s still depressing when someone who was once close to you, who shared secrets with you, who shared dreams with you; walks out and leaves you alone, without that warmth that used to be special between the two of you.

Along the passing years those fond days will go deeper into your heart, lost in the sea of memories that may surface from time to time, maybe on days when you are telling stories to your children or grandchildren or when you are revisiting the past over a cup of tea.

I miss my old friends from long ago. I wonder sometimes if we would still be friends now if distance and boys hadn’t come in between us. Those were the good ‘ol days. Now they are all the rage. And those from the future, we are yet to find out.

Living in the past is a waste of time. We will win some, and we will lose some. We just have to take what we have and make the best out of it. And hope that the hollow feeling will eventually fade in time when you replace them with someone else.

I would say friendship and love are like energy – they can neither be created nor destroyed but moved from one form to another – from one person to another. Replaced by a self-created piece of a jigsaw that you lost through the years of long distance and bad choices, a piece that will always make the puzzle complete, but is never truly the same as the original.

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