As much as you think that you’ve seen the world and nothing can surprise you anymore, something around the corner will always blow your mind. After watching seasons of Sex and the City, I’m beginning to feel like I’ve got Carrie’s column but of a more “sex-less” nature.
Anyways, back on track. Recently, something happened to a friend in my close circle that made me wonder about why women or “certain” women endure abuse and why they never say anything about it.
She was slapped so hard that it shattered the membrane of her ear to the point of deafness on that side. The doctor said that if it didn’t heal in 3 months, she would have to undergo surgery. Is this what love has come down to? You hit me, I hit you?
No doubt she started it, and it was not or never a smart move on her part for that, but boys and girls are different. The force coming and going is not the same. Someone has to realize that, and stop this before a disability kicks in.
Does saying sorry justify that action? I don’t know, I don’t think so. Words can’t break bones and they can’t heal them either. She is still with him and that annoys me to no end, and it’s not only me that’s annoyed about this.
Another friend kept saying over and over which is a good point overall: if you can keep your manners with strangers on the street and not hit them for insults they might pass at you, how can you hit someone you love? Total eye-opener.
The question I ask myself everyday is why does she still stay? The answer unfortunately is because she loves him and she hopes that it will never happen again. But is hope and love enough? Is anything enough?
We have seen this in our homes, among our friends and even in our social hangouts and before we go around thinking and adapting to this being the norm, let me tell you that it’s NOT! Abuse is abuse. Physical, sexual, emotional or any other way.
I will agree that everyone deserves a second chance, but not a third and a fourth is an undeserved luxury. This is not about pride, it’s everything about your dignity and your right to life free of abuse. Don’t ever go down that lane by choice, and never say you don’t have a choice.
The thing that puzzles me even more is how did it all come down to this? Sure, war has existed way before we can even count but there has never been any account of any conflicts between men and women, so where did all this hostility come from? What changed?
Is it because women are coming out of their homes and taking on more? Is it putting men in a more frustrated and vulnerable place? What is it? Why can’t love just be love without the hostility and the apologies? Is even one time crossing the limit?
Have we just weaved illusions of love into our minds that it’s supposed to be a particular way? Who really knows what love is supposed to be? At times I think I know what it is, but I don’t know why that feeling doesn’t last long.
All I know for sure is that abuse is not part of the equation, so it’s not okay. It’s never okay for a boy to make a girl feel like you are less than him, or for a girl to make a boy feel that. We are equals, that is how we were created and that is how we are meant to be.
Stand up and say NO to abuse!
P.S. Her ear is healing just fine, if you were concerned.